ON MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND OTHER MATTERS

GENERALLY, I TRY TO STAY AWAY from Natural on Tanzanian issues and keep to writing essays on subjects that interest me. However, on this issue, the issue of Tanzanian women going wild in the Americas I feel an investment to say my two pennies piece.
I believe that our people have a tendency to take the worst of the white man’s world and run with it while having difficulty learning the best in the white man’s world. The white man has some good in his culture (such as his science, technology and less corrupt government) and we refuse to learn those and benefit from them but, instead, learn the worst in his culture (no African country has  entered the scientific and industrial age and established a less corrupt governance).

In the 1960s black Americans struggled for racial equality.  Laws were passed against discrimination. Thereafter, white women rode on black liberation movement’s coattails and demanded equality with men. Laws were passed granting them gender equality. This is good. As I see it, if one applies for a job ones race and or gender should make no difference on whether one is hired or not; I believe in meritocracy.
However, white women did not stop at gaining equality on the job place but instead launched a total war on their men. They propagated the idea of patriarchy, that society is ruled by men and for men only. They set out to destroy that patriarchical society. In the process they attacked all institutions of society for as they saw it those institutions were devised by men to control women.
They called what they were doing deconstruction of society. After deconstructing society’s norms they hoped to reconstruct them on their own terms (construct a world ruled by women, some of the crazies among them hoped).
Thus, they launched a frontal attack on the institution of marriage. They argued that marriage is a means of controlling women hence must be destroyed. They have largely destroyed marriages as our fathers knew it.
In its place they posited what they call alternative marriages; here, a woman could marry a woman (believe it or not there are women who these days call other women their wives etc). As if that absurdity is not bad enough they preach open marriages whereby a woman could marry and have other lovers, male and female. Of course, a woman could choose to stay single and have lovers, male and female etc.
All these attacks on traditional marriage institution meant that children are now raised in confused and confusing situations and many of them now grow up confused. The white world is now a confused world where no one knows what the truth is, or not.
When societies are about to breakdown such events take place. Before the fall of Greece and Rome all these nonsense took place, with men saying that they have sex with other men and women saying that they have sex with other women. What we are witnessing is the collapse of the Western world. Perhaps there is nothing that any of us can do about it? Old societies must fall for newer ones to rise; oppressive societies must die for better societies to rise?
However, when African women come to the West and embrace these symptoms of a decadent society, I believe that it is the duty of all African men to say: wait a minute: we do not have to go there. We have to draw a line in the sand and say that we do not have to do the idiotic things that are now done in the western world.
When our women come here and obtain some sort of job skills, obtain jobs and make money and it goes to their heads and they want to do what white women do, live independent of men , it is time black men put their feet down.
Above all when our women claim to be lesbians (in London , I was shown two women living together in this absurd life style) it is time that African men started shaping these wild women up. We cannot allow these women to become wild and live like wild animals in the jungle doing whatever they want to do.
Society, by definition, means positing rules and socializing children to internalizing them and behaving accordingly. If women do as they damn please they raise children who are not socialized to abide by laws and society breaks down. This is exactly what is happening in our communities and I say that it is time that African men put a stop to all these nonsense and insist that our women live by laws.

In Africa we believe in ancestors; we do things that we believe our ancestors would approve in us. Our ancestors approve marriage between men and women.
We behave in accordance with justice; we do not do things just because we want to do them. There is such a thing as right and wrong behavior.
We believe that the universe is a moral place and that it is our duty to figure out what is moral and do it. Simply stated, we are not a wild bunch that says that just because something seems to feel good to depressed white women that we should do it.
Depressed white women who see no meaning and purpose in existence find out that if they have other women lick their vaginas that it gives them sensations of pleasure and they engage in  that outrageous behavior. That does not mean that the behavior is good in itself. (Depressed white men similarly engage in what they call homosexual sex; here, men stick their penises into other men’s anuses and call such bestial behavior pleasurable. This is existential depression at work!)
God, or whatever you choose to call the creator of this world, created us man and woman and therefore meant men and women to relate to each other. Any sexual relationship that defies that reality and says that just because we can stimulate ourselves with drugs, by ourselves or by others of same gender that such behavior is okay is wrong and unnatural.
Marriage between men and women is the natural order of things. Whereas divorce is permitted in situations where either partner is abusive, physically or psychologically, but divorce should not be cavalier; every effort must be made to reconcile warring marital partner’s (including counseling) before divorce is encouraged.
Children suffer greatly when their parents’ divorce. Go to jails and find out that a disproportionate part of the inmates are from broken down, dysfunctional families. Thus, for the sake of the children we must make all effort to preserve our African families as our ancestors constructed them to be.
God is the union of all creation and its creator. Union is love. We are the children of union/love; we are happiest and peaceful when we are in love with each other, for love is our nature.
On earth love between a man and a woman is natural. In spirit loves means the sense of oneness of all creation and its creator.
We must do away with childish sense of independence; the idea of independence is an illusion; what is real is interdependence; we are always joined and interconnected to each other; no man or woman is an island. Thus, when our women make a little bit of money and it goes into their heads and they seek wild independence it is time for them to learn that only interdependence leads to human survival; independence leads to death.
Finally, we must learn that worth is a social variable; you have worth in my eyes because I say so; I have worth in your eyes because you said so. We can remove worth and value from each other; when we do so we can kill each other. For too long women have removed worth from men and it is time they learned that if men reciprocated and find them worthless they can be done away with. We must value each other to live peacefully on planet earth.